I baked a cake last night.
Amy: "You're turning out to be quite the baker!"
Me: "I'd rather be the chief cupbearer."
Read Genesis and you'll know what I mean.

"We gonna eat. We gonna devour like piranhas." --lady at gas station

Robert: "Are my keys in the ignition?"
Guero: "The big one or the little one?"

"It's hard not to be narcissistic when you're me." -Todd Viellenaive

"Mohler says gay gene should be manipulated, if possible." -Adelle M. Banks' headline in The Christian Index.

"I can't even find my laundry because there's so many clothes in here." -Amy Hunt

"No true man of God wants to live like a king." -John R. Bisagno, Pastor of the First Baptist Church in Houston, Texas (retired)

"I know men; and I tell you that Jesus Christ is no mere man. Between Him and every other person in the world there is no possible term of comparison. Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and I have founded empires. But on what did we rest the creations of our genius? Upon force! Jesus Christ founded His empire upon love; and at this hour millions of men would die for Him." -Napoleon Bonaparte

"The immigrant is a walking refutation of cultural relativism." -Dinesh D'Souza

"For although God is worshiped in the heart, yet external confession is the inseparable accompaniment of faith." -John Calvin, from Genesis

"The Gospel is absolutely pure, and fears no microscope." -Unknown

"It's just not the same." -Jamie Knight

"A girl that can make me smile that much is worth marrying." -Me complimenting Amy

"Do you scratch it or do you itch it?" -Amy Hunt, on head massages

"He smells like cold air." -Amy Hunt, when Obi her dog ran to her

Brian Laramore: "What do you think about gay marriages?"
Jamie Knight: "Well, it depends on whether or not you read the Bible with a black highlighter."

"In order to hear and communicate the gospel today, we must become 'evangelical' in the sense of immersing ourselves in these accounts and by learning from them how to convey this gospel in our own world." -Joel B. Green, on the Gospels

"If we are not willing to wake up in the morning and die to ourselves, perhaps we should ask ourselves whether or not we are really following Jesus." -Bill from San Francisco, as quoted by Donald Miller in Blue Like Jazz, pg. 185.

"Are they husbands?" -Arturo, a kid on my and Amy's Upward Soccer team on seeing us getting into the same car to leave after practice

Sports Commentator: "Everyone in New York knows that the post season is what's important."
Me: "Everyone in Texas knows that the post season doesn't exist."

"I'm a genious, but that still conflicts with the fact that I'm a dumb, single guy." -Josh Slocum

"What kind of self-respecting Southern girl doesn't like chicken on the bone?" -Josh Slocum

"Dude! You got his picture! Kill it!" -Josh Slocum to a trigger-happy photographer during a sermon at the SWBTS Chapel service

"Picking a favorite Bible verse is like trying to pick your favorite person of the Trinity." -Shannon Lane

"The ear can only hear what the butt can stand." -Anant (Discussing the length of sermons and Bible studies