"Bob, that's so romantic. I'm about to tear up. If I were a girl, I would marry you...I'd make an ugly woman." -Jason Weaver

Dr. Craig Mitchell: "You've had a taste of ethics in here."
Cameron Griffith: "Yummy!"

"You see, folks, some of these systematic guys flock to bad philosophy like flies to feces." -Dr. Craig Mitchell

"When I was just a little Craig Mitchell, my mother Betty Mitchell was old school. She believed in beating me everyday and twice on Sunday. She applied the board of education to the seat of learning." -Dr. Craig Mitchell

Jason (4:51 pm): "I'm not going to hang out with anyone tonight. I've got to get stuff done."
Jason (11:07 pm, Josh's voicemail): "Hey Josh, sorry I couldn't eat with you. I was helping Kat with homework."

"As I navigate through this topsy-turvy world, I am reminded of the proposition that it was always Teddy who told me so." -Wesley Ryals

"I'd rather be castrated than have a class with Hoskins." -Josh